I was having such a hard time today remembering what happened when. Then, it hit me how much has happened in the last two weeks. Two weeks ago, as far as we knew, this was a normal pregnancy. We were talking about names for boys and girls. People were rooting for a brother for Brotey. Now, I’m sitting in a waiting room waiting for Sonya’s D&C to get under way while Oprah is on the TV. It all happened so fast. The first ultrasound. The second that confirmed the worst. The emergency room. The recovery. And now, the procedure. And we found out about that at noon today. It all happened so fast.
But I’m reminded of the words of God in Psalm 63. I reread them this morning:
My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
“In the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy.” What words. What encouragement. In the safety of God’s protection, I will sing for joy. And I will worship. I have been so challenged and encouraged by the worship of Job and Habakkuk.
Habakkuk shows us how to worship in trials in the final verses of his book:
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer’s;
he makes me tread on my high places.
It’s “easy” to worship when things are good. But what about when there is no food? When your isolated? When your possessions and the things that make you feel secure are gone? Will you worship then? Yes!!!!! God is our salvation. Our strength. He strengthens and sustains us. He lifts us up. And when we seek Him through the trial, we know Him oh so much more.
Then there’s Job. If any one had a reason to be upset with God, Job did. If anyone had reason to turn his back on God, Job did. God allowed Satan to take all of his live stock, most of his servants, and all of his children. One tragedy was weather related and another was actually described as an act of God. There was no thinking this was an accident or a plan of men. Job had reason to be mad at God. But instead, here’s what he did:
Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”
He humbled himself even more, getting even lower in God’s presence, acknowledged God’s sovereignty, and worshiped the God he trusted fully. Read all the chapters following and you see Job restored. Not quickly, but eventually. And God has been glorified through the telling of Job’s story for thousands of years. Believers have been strengthened and encouraged.
Why do these things happen? What is the purpose? I don’t know. But Sonya and I trust fully in the Lord our God. He is sovereign. He is holy and loving and works all things for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
We’ve already seen some good. We’re closer to Him. We’ve received love from His body. We’ve seen Him at work in the doctor’s office, the ER, and even in surgery pre-admitting. We will look for opportunities to share our story when it will identify with and encourage others and glorify God. And maybe our story will glorify God for many years. That’s our prayer.